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When Elderly Seniors Say No to Home Care Help

As a family member, relative, or friend of an aging loved
one, you are most likely familiar with the worry associated with the person you
are concerned about. Often times, seniors resist help, and that can be
frightful for all involved. What if your loved one accidentally leaves the
stove on? Or forgets to take medication?
This is a real problem for family and friends. We’ve even
had seniors call the police when a family member has arranged for a caregiver
visit or simply not answer the door. However, keeping a strong willed,
independent senior safely at home is not a lost cause. There are solutions both the family and
the senior can take to make the process easy and stress free for both.
Seniors feel that if they admit they need help, and then
their independence is lost. They don’t want to lose control of their affairs.
They wish to maintain their dignity. They resist any new “change”. They may
also fear that having help is an indication of life coming to an end. Some
seniors only want help from their son or daughter, which can cause a lot of
strain on the family, including affecting your own health, your own family, and
sometimes sacrificing your career.
Reassuring your loved one that you have the same goal in mind
will help. Acknowledge their need to be independent. Give examples of ways the
caregiver can help them maintain their independence.
Here are some tips to get your conversation started:
- Understand why they are being resistant
- Explain your goals. Let them know you wish for
them to remain at home as long as possible and having outside help will allow
that.
- Bring in outside help. If you aren’t getting
anywhere with your loved one, you may consider a third party professional like
a geriatric care manager for an assessment.
- Research options to find the best resources for
a senior in your community
- Respect your loved one’s decisions. Sometimes
you won’t agree with an older adult’s decisions and that’s ok. As long as the
senior is of sound min, he or she should have the last say.
The battle between resistance and assistance can be fierce.
Educating yourself will help provide you the tools you need to create a win-win
situation for all involved. Good luck!

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